I AM sure you are used to hearing this from ladies. It is possible you are one of those who have bought into the lie and helping to spread this gospel of hate and bitterness.
One of the greatest mistakes anyone would make in this life is the mistake of stereotyping are evil and fetish,’ ‘Igbos are greedy and can do anything for money,’ ‘Calabar girls are wayward,’ etc. It has become a big problem in our society.
I have great Yoruba friends as much as I have great Igbo enemies, and vice versa.
I have seen very decent Calabar girls as much as I have seen very bad ones.
I have seen very good Igbo people as much as I have seen very bad Yoruba people.
Many have lost wonderful relationships because of this stupidity. Now that you are married from your tribe, how has life been treating you? You must be in heaven on earth by now since he or she is from your tribe and they do no wrong.
Well, back to my topic for the day.
So many women have been swallowed by this ocean of bitterness and can no longer see anything good about the opposite sex.
Many of them have settled for lesbianism (as if that is a way out of their bitterness). They go on social media and gatherings and brag about not having need for a man and you foolishly fall for their lies. In your vulnerability, you decide to go their way.
Yes, you just got heartbroken and the devil in his wickedness brings these women your way to help shatter your already broken heart by feeding you with everything negative against men.
These women didn’t just wake up to become “anti-men.” It is not like they don’t need men; they know they do, because if you dig deeper, you would discover that they still want a man, either as boyfriend, sex partner or husband.
Some were/are heartbroken like you, while others made mistakes earlier in their lives only to realize it when it was late.
Some were raped and abused by those they trusted with their lives. Some grew up seeing dad hit their mom every day. To them, men are better sent to hell with the gates permanently chained.
They are not wrong here, because life hasn’t been too fair to them. A good number of people have been there.
I have been there, daily battered from a very tender age of 17 till I was 31. I have received my own fair share of life’s lemons, just like you.
But we are different in the sense that I did not allow my mountains to define me.
My dearest, instead of you crying over those lemons thrown at you, please gather them together and start making some good lemonade out of them. Refuse to help Mr. Devil recruit more people into his fold.
When you fall for the lies and bitterness of these women, you join in the shout against men and we begin to hear words like, “deal with him,” “men cannot be trusted,” “men are fools,” “men are dogs,” etc.
Refuse to be broken. All men are not the same. That one boy broke your heart doesn’t mean every man is bad. That three boys left you doesn’t mean there is no good man out there to love you.
The problem is that you have closed every door and now vomit things that will make even the nicest of men to smell bad once they come close to you. You now exert this negative energy that pushes the good away and attracts only the ugly.
That her husband threw her out empty-handed doesn’t mean your own husband is going to do that. That her boyfriend cheated on her doesn’t mean yours will.
There is a Balm in Gilead. There is a Potter that specialises in fixing broken things without leaving a scar.
He did it for me. He can do it for you. You can’t pour a bad wine into a good one and expect the best taste. Let go of the past and let the new come in.