THE FRESHMAN AND THE WALL

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Freshman: I hear when you go to Rome behave like Romans. They never told me this is applicable only in Rome. I went to a party and decided to dance like everybody else, the evil that befell me is like Quantum Mechanics, as a sociologist I can never understand it. This, I will reveal as we proceed.

I was elated when I gained admission to study Sociology at Ebonyi State University, having written JAMB for a record six years. At least nobody has achieved this feat in my family. Yeah, I heard people write JAMB several times and struggle to secure university admission; I never knew I was going to be a testimony. When I gained admission, I thought all my problems have ended. Like they say, every finished line is the beginning of a new race. Money stood in my way to acquire a college degree.

My family is not one to say “money no be problem”. Money was actually a big deal. In fact, corruption bedeviling my country is actually a joke compared to the quagmire limited funds brought to my household. However, a degree was the target and God will make a way where there is none. We managed to raise some funds and off I headed to Abakaliki, the capital of Ebonyi State where my school is sited.

I settled in with my neighbor at home who was a part three student of the school. The next day I went for my clearance, the crowd I saw was probably the largest live crowd I have seen since mama gave birth to a nigga. I lost my wrist watch in the process. It was a sad experience but the mere fact that I was hobnobbing with undergraduates like me made me feel better. It was university at last and I wasn’t prepared to let anything spoil it.

Few days later there was a party in my neighborhood; I couldn’t wait to get there. I am not one to be told the story, I like to live the story and trust me when I say “live the story” I actually lived the story. I got to the party and the disc jockey was at the top of his game, everyone was feeling the vibes evident in the display of different dance moves. I am not a proud dancer but there was this daughter of Eve whose bright future lies in her massive behind. As a shameless son of Adam I went to practice my dance steps with her boogy-doogy. The way I rocked this thing eeerr, even the devil will be surprised. The fact that the carrier of this instrument was very cooperative made me believe I was actually in a university. My groove was short-lived when some guy came to pull me away. Before I know what was going on, slaps and blows landed on my face like thunder bolt, I didn’t even realize the sounds I was hearing wasn’t from the deejay. They took me to one corner, bored a hole on a wall and asked me to f**k the hole till my royal priesthood blesses the hole with water of life. The cap of my royal priesthood had bruises. I suffered untold wickedness simply because I danced with a chic whose boyfriend was a cultist. All these happened because no one told me that in the university, freedom is relative.

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Maduagwu Paul is a 2.1 product of Ebonyi State University

 

 

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