Emotional intelligence ( EI) is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and apply them to task like thinking and problem solving and also regulating or calming other people.
Daniel Goeman said that people with well developed emotional skill are likely to be content and effective in their life , mastering the habit of the mind that foster their own productivity; people who cannot marshal some control over their emotional life fight battles that sabotage their ability for focused work and clear thought.
On the other hand intelligence according to English dictionary is said to be the capacity of the mind especially to understand principles, truth, fact or meaning , acquire knowledge and apply it to practice. Or the ability to learn and comprehend .
Conventional wisdom has it that there is a direct connection or link between intelligence quotient( IQ) and our ability to succeed in life. In our school today we are ranked by our GP and CGPA. At certain levels or point in our secondary schools, students are given a standard test to prove that they are qualified to go to a higher institution. The requirement for most colleges or universities is a satisfactory score on the O level result, the jamb and the post utme result. These test are basic intelligence quotient (IQ) test, design t know our math skill and our reading comprehension.
But they have been many studies that show that IQ only account for about 20% of success. The major determinant of success are social and emotional intelligence. Yet there is very little emphasis put on emotional intelligence (EI) .
It has been said that your IQ can land you a job , but lack of EI can get you fired. A student once told me that students with high or higher IQ are more likely to be emotionless and rude because, they don’t really struggle for learning and understanding, which I think it right.
Our emotional skill has a direct and important bearing on our relationship with others, it is very easy to give nice compliments to people and get what you want from them and very difficult when you are not nice to them an want to get something from them . I once told my older sister that she is the most caring and sweet person in our house and the next day I got a share of her allowance .
Unfortunately, there is also a direct link between poor emotional skill and the rising crime rate, children who have poor emotional skills become a social outcast at a very young age and might become a class bully because of hot temper and join other bad kids who teaches them so many other crime.
What we need.
What we really need is to know our emotion, develop self awareness – the ability to recognize feeling as they happen.
We must learn to motivate yourself , motivate others , learn emotional self control, show care to others and delay gratification.
If we are to succeed in life, we need to learn to recognize emotion in others. we need to develop empathy; we need to be attuned to what others want or need and help in a way.
And we need to develop our emotional intelligence so we are capable of healthy relationship.