Where Independent Women Get it Wrong

by: Stanley Bentley

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A chat with contemporary ladies will expose you to their desire and craving for independence. Critically looking at their idea of independence, you will begin to doubt your understanding of the concept. Subsequently, I will tell you what being an independent woman means for them.

Independence is a good thing. It is something people fight for, whether as a group or as an individual. Independence is the reason individuals quit their jobs to become their own master. It is the reason kids leave their parents houses to pursue whatever they deem sine qua non for their life. Independence is prestigious but how one goes about it may become questionable.

Being an independent woman supposedly puts a woman ahead of her contemporaries. An independent woman is that woman anyone can bank on. A woman that takes initiative whenever the need arises. An independent woman is a woman of resource. She proffers solutions to puzzles, she guides, she teaches, she listens, she is intelligent, wise and virtuous. She is in precision the definition of an ideal woman. She is a woman no man wishes to lose. She has earned the respect of men and the envy of women. Every man loves an independent woman. The quagmire of our independent women is that they have been unable to connect the dots to understand what independence actually means for a woman.

Back to my opening paragraph, independence for women means a battle for supremacy. Over the years, women have felt shortchanged in their partnership with the opposite gender. They currently see men as rivals or should I say enemies. They see men as constantly coming to prey on them, oppress them or treat them as underdogs. In this regard, any act or words which depicts ‘control’ or chauvinism from men will be met with stiff resistance.

Ideally, an independent woman prefers career success to getting married or having children but these independent women actually want to get married and have a happy family, never at the expense of their careers. Independence for them means flagrant disrespect for constituted authority- in this case their husband or spouse. No man can tell me what to do- that is what they call independence. I will not tolerate any man cheating on me; all men are dogs, in that case, I don’t need a man- that is what they call independence. My career precedes my family- that is what they call independence. If my husband is hungry, he should go to the kitchen and fix himself a meal, wife not cook- that is what they call independence. After a hard days job, I will now come home to attend to children’s home work and the physical needs of one stupid man that calls himself my husband. I am a career woman, I must have house helps- that to them is the true meaning of independence. The only reason I got married is because of what society will say and the pressure from my parents and siblings, otherwise, I would have been a single mother. How independent is an independent woman who can’t get herself pregnant? Pressure from family will make you do that which you despise. Can’t you see that you are not independent?

Fighting a non-existent battle or creating scenarios to make yourself feel good is not independence. If you apply common sense you will succeed in all your endeavours.

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