By Abire Sunday Olugbenga

I stumbled upon a video recently of a  bride who almost declined kissing her groom on their wedding day in the presence of everyone. This video has prompted me to ask one or two persons why it has become a culture to kiss on a wedding day. Surprisingly, I got vague answers. I am quite aware of the fact that people do things they really don’t know. It’s like being directed by the tumultuous wave of the moment.
Granted that every culture is dynamic and change is ultimately constant. I dare say things don’t just change but must have started with a small group of people in a society. Remember that there are societies in every society. And the dominant culture holds sway while others are suppressed indefinitely. Overtime, the loudest becomes the ideal and the silenced fizzles away. Moreover, globalization has made it increasingly difficult to have some territorial independence culturally. We are fused and completely culturally dependent. Our confusion has been endless.
In the primitive setting which we have put behind us, the processes leading to marriage were well thought out. Even before the involvement of the couple, machineries were put in place to forestall possible unpleasant occurrences. Just as times have changed, even God doesn’t involve Himself unless you invite Him. He probably learnt from the defence put forth by oga Adam who would probably have escaped eating the forbidden fruit if not for the benevolence of mama Eve,the woman God gave him.
We are in an interesting time where it’s possible for the man or the woman to initiate the marital process. It’s even convenient to have same sex marriage. It’s an expression of love to go bestial and heaven will not fall. I am not against any of these. It’s our choice and we must live by it as long as it doesn’t hound the other person. We will only live to tolerate one another as we display our insanities in the marketplace.
For the few years I have been here, I have seen the joining together of couples (conventional, same sex, bestial) in holy matrimony. Certain activities like lifting the bride, kissing, exchanging rings and others are directly parts of the ceremony. These are religiously followed one after the other until it gets to the final stage. Kissing has been an important part of the ceremony. It’s a time where subtle display of shamelessness is welcome. And right in the open, you are permitted to lock tongues romantically for few minutes as a sign that you are married. Do I have anything against the bride kissing the groom? I will say no. It’s not my business but I had like to know why it’s necessary to do so.
Methinks a wedding ceremony will be complete without lifting a bride especially if she is a heavy weight. I also hold the view that it will be fine with the shyness of engaging in an open foreplay. Pardon my primitivity, we will know that both are married without necessarily entertaining us with such erotic display. Okay, you want to say they are married  and it’s their day of joy right? Why are married people not kissing in the open after the wedding ceremony? Why should they kiss to seal their union? Have I sounded like a puritan? I just feel kissing should be behind the scene like its mother. It may be long, sex on the wedding day might be a possibility someday.

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