I Am Not A Scarlet Woman

By: Funke Ahmad

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Just signed out from an abusive and contaminated relationship, then I was a 200 level student of the prestigious and anti-strike university of Ilorin. I started dating Destiny as a fresher. Destiny was handsome, a 400 level student, an artiste and a ladies man. I was young, naïve and undiscerning. He wasn’t in the real sense my first. I started dating in secondary school. Then, I cannot really posit that I know what I was doing. Getting to the university, I had a different expectation. The future is almost here. Whatever relationship I was having should mean something and translate to life time commitment.

My experience with Destiny was ridiculous. He was everything bad. He was a serial cheat. He was a confra boy. He was violent, a woman beater. He was into drugs especially sex enhancing drugs. I may have tolerated Destiny’s excesses either as a naïve lass or a girl who didn’t want to have a failed relationship. Crazy mindset!

There was this stigma back then in school associated with mostly females who have been in and out of a relationship. Guys and gals alike perceived you as a scarlet woman. Since they can point at the guy(s) who you have been romantically involved with, you are not good for anything. It was even more honourable to have a coded sexual relationship with one or many, so long nobody knows, you are the proverbial virtuous woman. Subconsciously, I was swallowing all the bitter pills Dr. Destiny was administering just to avoid being seen in a negative light. What a pity!

If every good thing comes to an end, then a bad thing must go extinct. Destiny graduated and left the university while I graduated into 200 level. He left the university, not my life, not to a far destination, he was still in Ilorin. I was visiting him almost on a daily but anytime I went to see him, we usually fought like cat and rat. He had no trust for me, he believed everyone was like him. There was no variety of words that could change his distasteful orientation. I tried and tried but my efforts were non permeable. The day I stamped the relationship as contraband was the day I went to visit him, we tried getting cozy, Destiny like a possessed buffoon said I was smelling of another man. How bad can things get?  He said I should confess, I was acutely infuriated by such disgusting, demeaning and disrespectful remark about me. I wasn’t going to sit back and negotiate with such emotional terrorist. I picked my handbag to walk away, what happened to me is akin to Adolf Hitler’s massacre of the Jews in World War II. Destiny descended on me like it was a boxing fight between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor. He punched me mercilessly, tore my clothes and raped me. This was someone who just accused me of smelling of another man. Whatever that means. Destiny was an animal. This side of him was the finish line. I stayed in his house for five days to recuperate. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t see the girl my mother gave birth to. There was no way i could leave. Throughout the dark days I was in his house, Destiny rendered no apologies, the best he did was that he gave me a gown which I wore to school. I don’t even know whose gown it was. That was the last time, the very last time he set his eyes on me. At least he was out of school, nobody will equate me to those girls who jump in and out of relationship because like Patoranking would say: dey dunno.

When I got to school the first person I saw was Omonigho, he saw the way I was and knew that something was wrong. Omonigho was in same class with me. The only person to have noticed my absence in class for a week. He asked me what the problem was and where I was coming from…

To be continued

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Funke Ahmad graduated from University of Ilorin

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