Cheat if He Cheats

By Stanley Bentley


The man who encourages you to cheat in order to get back to a cheating partner is a frenemy . He is up to no good and has no regard for your dignity as a woman.

The epoch of social media we are currently in has really exposed how unreasonable many of us are. Our penchant for attention is legendary. Some may pretend they are lone rangers and can do without others but social media have exposed them. It may not be a crime to seek attention but going naked to attract attention is pretty sickening.  Of course, you would get the attention you crave but people would sit on the fence when questions of your sanity are raised.

You would agree with me that your philosophical, inspirational tweets/posts may get little or no engagements – comments, likes, reactions, retweets, favourites and all that paparazzi but a post which leaves you bewildered, wondering if the fingers and brain behind it are not leprous, retarded and needs quarantine gets all the reactions made available by Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey.

I saw a post on Facebook which reads thus:

“If it’s okay for African men to cheat on their wives, I think African women should freely cheat too. You should ask why? And I say because we are all humans. Infidelity should not be gender biased. What’s groundnut for men should also be garri for women. That’s how to feel the pains these women go through”.

Wow!!! What a brilliant way to get the attention of aspiring cheats. You need to see some women pouring all shades of encomiums and expressing their undiluted admiration for this special kind of man. Men cheat, women cheat. No one ever said it was okay for any gender to cheat. I think the problem here is perception.

I don’t know of any culture which endorsed infidelity by any gender. Infidelity is against everything I stand for. Infidelity is the highest form of disrespect you can accord your spouse.

That post is the kind of opinion women who want to cheat have been waiting for. Cheating is not honourable and can never be justified. Don’t do it because your spouse is doing it. Two wrongs don’t make a right. There is no acceptable reason whatsoever to cheat. If your man cheats and you cheat in retaliation, you further validate him as the boss whom you follow his lead. Be original. Be who you are. Don’t copy nonsense. No one can make you cheat if it’s against your moral fibre. If you cheat, you are nothing but a cheat. Accept responsibility for your action like an adult and don’t blame the other man. There are better ways to communicate your displeasure in a cheating partner.

Cheating is robe of shame, don’t let anyone push you to wearing it. Cheating is dishonourable, don’t lose your integrity, your honour, because of the actions of an unfortunate spouse. Cheating is a trait of weakness, culprits need help. Don’t enter the motor of weaklings.  Stand your ground, be strong. Anyways, a woman who detests cheating would never stoop low to do it, her husband’s randiness notwithstanding. You can’t do what you hate simply because someone else is doing it. It doesn’t ever add up.

I wonder if the owner of that post would advise his sister, his daughter or his wife to cheat too, if their husbands were cheating. I want to believe he wrote that for attention sake. I want to believe, he was just being controversial. I want to believe it was for the frenzy of social media. In any case, the attention syndrome of social media should not make one propagate ridiculous ideas. The internet never forgets.