The Journey


I no fit lie, I was damn happy about the trip, though apostle don suppress
the ecstasy of travelling abroad especially when the abroad na Benin |lolll|,
when he said the place ain’t that different from Nigeria |na you know, I sha
cross border, #tongue_out|. Na so I pack the little things necessary for the
trip ooo.
Everybody sha gathered, we dey exchange jokes waiting for the Marcopolo.
As some were arriving, faith and hin guy dey corner dey talk, maybe hin dey
sing “no forget me” to her ears |eeyah, love sha…lol|, while someodas were
moving around doing nothing |smiles|; shebi you trust girls na, na dat kind
time dem no go fit piss by themselves, a group of 5-6 of them go go, the one
wey fit catwalk go dey do hin own on top urinating ooo |urh, nawa to dem|.
When the bus arrived, we boarded it. I wasn’t that happy cos some bad belle
[Alhaja and Bayo] don sit down for my sit, na there me and my trip-sitting
partner –Ife- dey sit, no shit na, I sha sat at the back with my padiis dem. Na
so we start the journey ooo, and like the norm; Wunmi our mummy G.O. gave
the opening prayer and everybody started their thing.
After a while on the road, we stopped at a filling station like that to refresh
our stomach, cos na dat time some people go talk say dem no chop for house
again now con dey faint for places |lol|. Dat filling station dey ooo, na there
exodus turn Moses ooo in front of Balotelli the interviewer |lol| and hin go
dey use “I’m the one that burn it” laugh ooo, at least shebi dat one talk sumtin,
my guy went dumb with stuttering lines. Na there we interview one imbecile
like that, if only we had done psychology in first semester; that would have
been a classic and practical example. We sha take different kinds of selfies n
picx b4 continuing the journey.
When back don dey boring small, I talk say make I go disturb guys for front
ooo, see dem, dem don chop finish na sleep remain, especially Kuti, she just
scatter ground with sleep, na there Firelord and Mary dey do love rekindling
about, she put head on top hin lap, dat one sef put hin head on top her back,
I couldn’t see both of their hands…hmmmn, I no bother disturb dem cos I dey
sure say them dey busy |winks|.
Pope -our political guru- no go allow person hear word with all hin political
history and quotes, at least the lecturers are interested so dem gada dey talk
am. Chan li sef dey do hin dry jokes about recording sleepyheads. Nothing
much really happened for inside 9ja till we reach Lagos. Since I neva go there
b4, I was just observing and taking mental notes, we saw Muqsit school and
this their redeem camp. Though we no really enter the main city, the little I
saw impressed me.
The rest of the journey was just too filled with practical display of
corruption, all in the name of inspection, dem immigration guys just dey
collect money dey go, no b say dem check us ooo |thieves|. Alas we reach
border for what seemed like forever, na the place waste most of the time sef,
why? dem talk say dem dey clear the papers |okay o|, on crossing to the other
side too, we dey wait again, till evrywia was dark.
Guys sha started enjoying themselves, buying these n that evrywia, me I
sha dey dey observe and have fun at the same tym, na chicken b all these
ones |benounite or wateva| suya, na so our guys sha start to dey chop ooo,
especially Balotelli, Doherty and Yusuf; dem dey lick fingers about as they
I talk say make I urinate since morning, na so me n Paul wan enter wan
bushy area, make I unzip do am sharp sharp, na that time the border man
called us ooo, say wetin we dey do |arwh, shey make we no piss again|, asked
our names, say we no dey security conscious ooo, say we don dey anoda
country and we no fit dey do anyhow |ahn an, wetin b all these na, like no b
say na Yoruba guys full there|. I would have believed he was actually doing
his job, if not for the lady sitting quite close to him, madman, instead make
hin talk say make we hurry, so that hin go fit continue hin business.
After all the kamora, we were sha cleared on their side, na so we start to
dey go our port novo. Good country, everytin French, light just dey evrywia
|unlike Nigeria|, and their road na all these interlock dem take do am. We
sha reached the farm, ok ooo, make we find place chop ooo, na hin d woman
speaking in some crazy tongues talk say head of fish wey no get any feel 4
naija na 1500CPH |like N833 of our own money|. Make dem no spoil market
for person, na so we move forward till we saw this suya joint, trust Balotelli
nah n co., na like dat dem start again ooo, dey chop chicken up and down,
me, Muqsit and Ridwan sha manage bread and fried egg. On getting back to
the farm, others have being sorted into rooms, dem sha put us 4 one side like
I was opportune a room to myself for the night |smiles|. Bose came to say
hi, I accompanied her halfway back then she gave me this exquisite hug
|winks, a hug is only exquisite when the girl dey insyd her nightie; that way
she’s lightly armored…nawtie|. Na so I return to my room ooo thinking of what
could have been |you know lyk: hugs, kisses, sugars, etc.| if only I’d taken
the right step with her |shakes head|. I sha start reminiscing on the trip, ate
my bread, and started thinking of how the rest of the trip go be till I slept off


The story continues tomorrow

Oluwaseun Akinlembola


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