Travails of a Uniben Under G (2)

Edited by: Stanley Bentley


Bamiyo cannot be swayed by any of these. “Cheap products are found everywhere. Economics as a secondary school subject was always going to be a walk in the park”. Stated Bamiyo.

Bamiyo added a feather to the insult, challenging Mikel for Q&A in Economics. Bamiyo told Mikel that there was no question in Economics that he cannot answer even though he hadn’t been attending lectures with him for three years. “If you doubt me, bring it on.” Bamiyo boasted. Mikel who was older than Bamiyo didn’t want to be dragged but unfortunately for him, Mikel’s friend and classmate who was our next door neighbor heard everything and came to our room to give some dignity to his darling Economics. Obobo asked Bamiyo many questions. To our utter disbelief, Bamiyo answered all questions without batting an eyelid. Mikel decided to rescue the situation by dropping his own questions, Bamiyo didn’t fail to deliver. Maybe they didn’t know enough to put Bamiyo to shame. How can a Geology student answer all the questions pertaining to a course you have studied for three years? It was preposterous I must admit.

Bamiyo switched to his cousin who was studying Industrial Physics, Josben knew better and didn’t banter words with Bamiyo. Oh boy refused to be rubbished.

Bamiyo said he only had regards for those studying Medicine, Pharmacy and sometimes Engineering, not all the time but sometimes.

Intelligence was key in Uniben, otherwise anybody can just mess you up. A fast lane to the hall of shame was when they released GST results for year one students. Any score below an A is the deal breaker. You have just proven that you are dullapo. No disrespect for my Yoruba brethren who bear the name Dolapo.

Same disregard for English students continued until one ill-fated day while he was running his mouth like a broken tap, my classmate and friend Aloy entered our room. Aloy could not take such disrespect from any mu’fucker. Aloy challenged Bamiyo to Q&A. Aloy told Bamiyo that he would agree that English was GST if he Bamiyo could produce from his brain any English word that he Aloy doesn’t know the meaning. Bamiyo smiled. The kind of smile that indicated that the challenge was a plate of Egusi soup from Toseton restaurant. Bamiyo advised Aloy to come up with something more tasking. But Aloy stuck to his guns. So the battle started. Bamiyo started asking Aloy to tell him the meaning of all the English words he felt Aloy doesn’t know. Aloy didn’t only tell him the meaning, he also added the part of speech they belonged to and how they can be used in sentences. Bamiyo tried but Aloy was a soldier, an astute grammarian. Seeing that Bamiyo was running out of words, Aloy told him to gather all his supporters, all those who felt studying English was akara to join him to produce more words. This was how the queue started, people became too many we had to move to common room. All Bamiyo’s supporters tried but nobody had the word to disgrace my guy. I stood behind my guy like a cheerleader.

Aloy redeemed our image and the image of all English students. My guy had a glamourous outing. I was proud of him and later we went out to down some bottles to celebrate our victory. Bamiyo started respecting Englishans from that day. English is the most difficult course to study and no one who studied that course should be disrespected.