Forgiveness, I was torn within, I didn’t know if I should forgive Ladidi or not, what she did was unimaginable, what I also did was unfair, how can a human being do that to another let alone a wife to her husband, its no consolation that she suffered through it all, it was no consolation that she spent 5 months in jail, that she was away from the kids, I was still bitter.
‘One of you must be a bigger person.’ Nafisa’s voice brought me out of my thoughts.
‘Why does it have to be me, she destroyed my life of all things a sex video, Nafisa a sex video haba!.’
‘You’re not entirely blame free, she went overboard but if her family or yours know of this, you know it will be worse than what happened to you.’
‘I don’t know Nafisa, don’t know if I can love her like I used to.’
‘You still feel something for her, think of your kids, your reputation.’
‘Did she think of all that?’
‘Asad please let it go for Allah’s sake, to err is human to forgive is divine.’
What Nafisa said touched me but I also remembered all the good days Ladidi and I shared, our bond not that strong but was still there, our kids, most importantly I knew I still loved her beyond reasoning, how I still felt love for her after what she did baffled me.
What she did was not justifiably but I knew the desperation and helplessness that drove me to hit her several times to land her in the hospital most of those times and into her friend’s arms must have driven her to do what she did, I knew, Nafisa too knew and am sure even Ladidi herself knew that I would forgive her. When we got back to the ward Ladidi was missing.
I just hope she hasn’t done anything drastic, I prayed for her safety I just wanted her back and put all that happened behind like a bad dream.
The nurses saw a fair woman clad in a black veil leaving the hospital it was Ladidi because Nafisa’s veil was missing.
Looking frantically in every nook and corner of Porthacourt streets for Ladidi, we asked people and got her trail, narrowly she had missed being hit by a trailer, I had caught her just in time and we both fell on the side walk out of harm’s way, she looked scared and flustered yet so so beautiful.
The air in Nnamdi Azikiwe airport was most welcoming, it felt so good to be home, away from scheming, conniving, planning, hospitals, jail. I found new peace in forgiveness and acceptance.
I felt absolved of all my sins, after Asad forgave me, when I left the hospital and ran into a trailer and Asad pushed me just in time, I knew he was back, I made a decision to look after my husband, my kids, my family.
The blue walls were not welcoming, I proceeded to the bed, the frail looking creature was looking away she seemed oblivious to the fact that we were in the room, Asad nudged me I swallowed and called her name.
She looked at me, her eyes hollow, life had obviously been hard, I felt a rush of guilt and relief that she was not dead, she was still breathing.
‘I’m sorry for what happened, I wish I could change it.’ Silence, Asad left the room.
‘I slept with your husband…. Several times.’ She said.
‘I know, and am responsible for your predicament.’ I said back, her eyes told a story, I can’t interpret but I understood.
‘Will you forgive me?’ I asked and I meant every word I said, I wanted to be fully absolved of all my sins.
‘I think we’re even.’ She said smiling weakly.
The world is a strange place, months ago all I wanted was revenge and my heart burned with the flames of vengeance, I thought I would get fulfillment in my quest to destroy Asad but I found peace only in forgiveness.
You gain nothing from revenge only hurt, am sure my attitude must have driven Asad to do the things he did, Asad was learning to be a new person so was I, we would learn to live differently away from scorn and deciet, away from our old selves.
I hope and pray to God that this new path proves to be fruitful to us.
I sincerely thank all my readers who took their time to read and comment on this series all the way. Thanks so so much, we shall meet again one way or the other.